Hitting a Wall
“Hitting a Wall.”
You’ve likely heard the phrase before. As an athlete, it is something I hear often — especially in running circles. While I’m sure different sports/events have slightly different applications, “the wall” in running refers to the moment in a race where your energy stores are completely depleted and it feels as if there is no way to continue on.
I would argue almost every distance runner has their “hitting a wall” story, and nearly all distance training programs are built around ways to avoid it. I once ran a race where they even had a giant inflatable wall at mile 20-something that worked as a physical representation that runners could “conquer” and finish the race with the fear of actually hitting a wall metaphorically cleared from their mind.
I remember hitting my first wall. It was the Chicago marathon, mile 16. Training had been 16 weeks of hot summer runs, all of them riddled with injury, and I arrived at the starting line for the race already beaten up and mentally frail. Though the race started ok, a trip and face plant around mile 5 left me literally bloody. To make it worse, what started as a mild, cloudy day quickly became warm and sunny - a marathoner’s worse nightmare. By the halfway point I was struggling, and by mile 16 I knew I did not have the energy to take another step. My heart rate went up, my ears started ringing, panic started setting in. Interestingly, amidst the anxiety all I could think about was, “I can’t stop. Not now. Not after all of the time and effort I’ve put into it.”
I also remember hitting my second wall. But that one had nothing to do with running and everything to do with work.
Hitting a Wall at Work
Though “hitting a wall” while running is a different experience than hitting one in your career, they really aren’t as dissimilar as one might think. When I talk about “hitting a wall” at work, I’m referring to the realization that one cannot keep doing what they are doing in the way they are doing it. It is the moment when it becomes clear that something isn’t right. It is when the questions start to flood in, the doubt starts to bubble and the panic arrives.
Just as I had when I hit my wall in the marathon, in spite of realizing that things needed to change for my own mental health, all I could think about was the time and effort I had spent to get to that moment. The numerous degrees, years of climbing and performing, networking and connecting, and the debt... goodness, the debt. I remember thinking, “I can’t stop. Not now. Not after all of the time and effort I’ve put into it.”
As humbling as that moment was and as overwhelming as it was to think about everything that had transpired to get me to that moment, the scariest part of hitting a wall is the question that follows: “What do I do now?”
How to Handle the Wall
Walls are put in front of us every day. Usually they are perceived as simple barricades, situations which must be stepped over or navigated around in order to get back on track. However, those barricades can grow — some brick by brick, others slab by slab — until one day they are towering overhead, completely blocking the pathway, bringing us to a screeching halt.
As a coach, I’ve had “the wall at work” conversation with many people at varying levels of their career, and nearly everyone starts out feeling the same — panicked. However, in spite of the foreboding picture I’ve painted, I have good news — in all those conversations, I’ve seen them all find their way to the other side. While each course was different, I think gaining an understanding of a few realities related to the wall helped to settle the panic in the moment and make room to think about an answer to the question: “What do I do now?”
To that end, if you find yourself hitting a wall, consider a few things:
1. It doesn’t mean this is the end.
It is easy to get fatalistic when confronting the reality that you cannot go on in the current state. However, walls are not necessarily signs that something drastic is needed, like a new job or a career change. Instead, they are usually just signals telling you that it is time to pay attention — like, now. However, in order to rationally interpret those signals, you may need to step back.
If you are too close to the situation, emotions can control and cloud your ability to think rationally. When we encounter moments of stress, our bodies release additional adrenaline and cortisol into our system which triggers the fight/flight/freeze reaction. This process physically prevents us from being able to see things clearly and increases the likelihood of perceiving things as threatening or negative that would otherwise not bother us.
Step back, take a deep breath and try to see the wall. Try to describe it as if you were explaining it to someone else. What is it in relation to? What is involved? What types of things are creating/triggering it? One trick is to imagine the issue was actually made of bricks — what would each individual brick represent?
By analyzing the wall critically, your brain can start to shift from panic mode (fight/flight/freeze) to problem-solving or, even better, solution-finding mode. As a result, you may start to see that there are relatively straightforward ways to address the situation without making any drastic moves.
2. Over is not the only way.
When thinking of barricades that impede progress, it is common to want to just “get over” the wall. In other words, when we finally get to problem-solving mode, our first reaction may be to resolve it. However, it is important to remember that this wall was not built overnight.
By the time things at work rise to the towering level of a wall, the likelihood is there are multiple levels of things happening at once. To remove the wrong brick first could lead to the whole thing toppling down on top of you and making things worse in the process. Even where there might be a somewhat simple solution, the “solution” may not be realistic, appropriate at the time, or financially viable. In short, oversimplification of the situation could lead to further distress or disappointment, only adding more bricks instead of removing them.
So, if over isn’t the way, then what?
As you are thinking about the situation critically, try to understand the reasons why you are feeling unfulfilled or stuck and what discrete actions might change things. Could an adjustment to your schedule, additional resources, more learning opportunities or greater autonomy help to dismantle the thing that is holding you back? In other words, is there a way around the wall?
Of course, there is a possibility that the wall is the manifestation of a situation that has no true solution and you may have to consider going through the wall to pursue another opportunity — but you won’t know that until you take the time to consider all possible trajectories and solutions.
3. You didn’t (necessarily) build it.
In today’s hustle culture, the expectation is to do more. In most workplaces, productivity is rewarded, and in some industries it is actually how performance is judged. That type of environment can lead to individuals feeling like they can never get enough done. In a recent study of over 11,000 people across industries and geographies, 47% of employees reported feeling burnt out, with the number even higher for managers.
Remember my two wall stories? In each of them, my first thought was about the investment of time it had taken to get there rather than the issue at hand.
Why does this matter? Because productivity guilt is real, and if you have encountered a wall, productivity guilt is likely staring you right in the face. Productivity guilt is the feeling of persistent disappointment at never being able to do enough. It is perfectionism at its worst, and the material that makes up many a wall. Sadly, work environments are set up to support the beliefs that fuel productivity guilt and, in essence, happily supply the bricks and mortar needed to for construction — and then some.
To escape, or at least lessen, productivity guilt, it is important to create realistic expectations of yourself at work. It is not an easy task, but a necessary one. The first step: decipher what is expected of you. This will take some effort and may include looking at your job description for more clarity, asking your supervisor to define it or talking with your team. (By the way — if you have a hard time finding an answer, you may have started to identify some more of what makes up your wall!)
Once you understand what is expected, you can go about creating what you expect of yourself in relation to what is expected. Is your expectation of yourself realistic? Can you do it without sacrificing too much in other areas of life? Are your expectations contributing to the construction or destruction of the wall in front of you? What could be adjusted to allow meeting or exceeding what is expected of you while also helping to disassemble the wall?
Though a difficult task, the more you are able to identify your role and define boundaries, the less productivity guilt will be able to supply building materials.
4. Plan what comes next.
One thing to keep in mind is, because our workplaces are often structured to encourage higher output and support or reward high performance, it is wisest not to wait for solutions to come to you. Instead, think about what you can do to make an impact on the situation. Be specific. Write things down. Come back to your plan often to make sure you are staying on track, and most importantly, adjust as needed.
Also, just because your workplace may not be able to show you the answer or create the path for you, it doesn’t mean your employer can’t help. Many employers have resources available that can assist in the planning process. You might not even realize the benefits that are there, so check with the benefits department or your employee assistance program (EAP) to discover any tools that might be useful. Some organizations provide time management and/or organization tools, mental health support, professional coaching and/or mentor programs that can be particularly helpful at scaling your wall.
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Taking all of this into account, it is perhaps most important to not forget that you don’t have to do it alone. A 2023 study performed by the National Institute for Health showed that coaching, across the various methods and modalities employed, is an effective process for positive workplace outcomes. It can be especially helpful when trying to tackle large and overwhelming situations — especially the wall of feeling that you cannot go any further on your current path and/or pace at work. Coaching cannot give you the answers, but it can be a partner and support along the way.
No one wants to find themselves at the point in their career when they know they cannot continue — but if you find yourself there, remind yourself of all the amazing things you have done along the way and envision yourself on the other side. You’ll be there before you know it.