Make the Most of Being a Mentee

Most professionals are familiar with the concept of mentoring, and that is because “mentoring” is a word that is thrown around a lot in conversations about career development. In fact, a recent MentorcliQ study found that 92% of Fortune 500 companies have mentor programs. The reason for this investment? Likely the data and research over nearly four decades suggesting that mentoring has a positive effect on employee attitude, motivation, health and career development. What’s more, 93% of mentees report feeling that their mentor relationships are useful. It is no surprise, then, that nearly all workers know what workplace mentoring is and most have experienced it first-hand.

Despite its clear benefits, mentoring is not without its challenges. There can be issues with connection, lack of engagement or simply not enough time to commit to developing a working mentor relationship. However, if challenges can be kept to a minimum, a proper mentor relationship can lead to an increase in the mentee’s productivity, retention and general happiness — not to mention all the benefits that can be experienced by the mentor.

So how does one maximize their mentoring relationships?

A quick internet search on this topic will return a slew of articles and studies focused on mentors and how they can make mentoring relationships most effective for their mentees. That is likely because the mentor, being more experienced, is generally in a position to best manage the relationship. However, for mentees to get the full extent of the mentor experience, the responsibility falls just as much on their shoulders as it does the one doing the mentoring. In other words, if you want the most out of mentoring as a mentee, you need to work for it.

There is much to gain from mentor relationships, but to get the full benefit of mentoring, mentees must be prepared to do more than just receive advice — they need to make the most of being a mentee.

Identify What You Need

Before any mentor relationship is going to be effective, a mentee needs to identify areas that need growth. Which specific area(s) of career or professional life could benefit from knowledge that someone more experienced might have? Perhaps you are looking for adept industry knowledge, client or customer contacts, specific skill development, help navigating interpersonal politics or any number of other areas in which someone more experienced may be able to give clarity or direction. It could be one area. It could be twelve.

Once the needs are identified, it is important to clarify your own expectations. What do you want to learn/experience/get feedback on? What type of mentor can help you answer these question? How will you know the relationship is beneficial?

Have all that? Great. Now write it down. Capturing this information hardcopy is a good way to organize thoughts and expectations while also creating a reference point to return to later.

Take Advantage of All Available Resources

Finding the right mentor isn’t always easy, so give yourself a head start and take advantage of any formal programming offered internally by your organization. As noted by Forbes, most organizations have some type of mentoring program. Figure out what that program is and how to get involved if participation isn’t automatically offered as part of onboarding.

In the event a formal program does not exist, look for an alternative. Career focused mentor relationships can be informally developed through network connections, peer colleagues, or former bosses. Think creatively about the connections you already have. Some of them may be working as mentor relationships already, or are just a few conversations away from becoming one but you just haven’t thought of it that way before.

Lastly, plan to actually use whatever relationships are created and any time specifically allotted to develop the mentor relationship. Don’t waste the opportunity. Said another way, don’t meet for intros with your mentor and then never reach out again.

Match your Match

Once you have identified your need and the resources that are available to you, it is time to make matches. Individual matches are often made for you through a formal program. Other programs may allow you to choose for yourself, or you have no program and are forced to find matches on your own. Regardless of the matching methodology, the act of getting the most out of the matching is the same.

First, align the mentor to your needs. What can this person provide you that you don’t already have? What can they help you develop or refine?

Second, recognize what the mentor cannot do. Many mentees go into professional mentor pairings expecting the mentor to be the answer to all development needs. However, one mentor relationship will likely NOT provide for all the mentee’s identified needs. So try to understand where a mentor can be helpful, and which areas might need a different mentor. (That’s right — you can and should have multiple mentors!)

Third, look beyond what you know. If your idea of a good mentor match is someone in your industry and within a similar region that looks like you, has the same educational experiences as you and is older than you, then you may miss out on a lot of good mentoring. Sure, certain parts of professional development benefit from someone who knows what you do and the clients you do business with, but most of professional development goes well beyond what you do and instead involves how you do it. When it comes to growth, you can learn a lot from people that will pull you out of your comfort zone, so look for connections that do that.

Take the Reins

You’ve identified or been assigned a mentor and you have some sense of how they may be able to help you. Great! Now what?

Most mentees step back a wait for the mentoring to happen. They wait for the mentor to make the first connection, expect the mentor to guide the conversation and may remain a passive participant even after mentoring begins. While that may be the traditional view of some mentoring, it is not effective.

Mentors are busy professionals, too. They have lots of demands on their time, mentoring included. As a result, they may unintentionally let meetings slide or steer to conversations that center on topics that are easy, low-hanging fruit. On the other hand, a mentee that is active in the relationship can help to avoid the possible loss of energy and disengagement. Be prepared to take responsibility. Take the initiative to schedule the mentoring meetings. Come to each meeting with questions or discussion points that align with your predetermined developmental needs. Think about desired outcomes and share those with your mentor.

Being a truly active participant not only shows a level of engagement and commitment, it also ensures that time spent mentoring is productive and useful and not an exercise in wasted time and low-hanging fruit.

Assess & Provide Feedback

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “There is nothing permanent except change.”

Indeed, as time passes so do the phases of our careers. We may acquire a skill, collect enough repetitions for expertise or simply have our careers change forms such that the developmental needs we’d identified are no longer needed. For that reason, it is critical to assess your mentoring relationships from time to time to ensure they are providing benefit. Many mentoring relationships will evolve organically, changing to address the changes in the mentees needs. However, some may continue on only for the sake of continuing. There is little value for either the mentor or mentee if no one is receiving some benefit. Be willing to have open dialogue with your mentor about what might be changed, or if a relationship has surpassed or fallen short of its original intent.

Relatedly, share feedback with your mentor on a regular basis. What is working and what is less effective? Where is your professional development now compared to when the mentoring began? What are things that are currently happening professionally that are affecting you? How has advice or insight the mentor has shared affected your decision making process? This information not only strengthens the mentoring report, it can also help the mentor understand how they might be able to adjust to help you even more.

Be Grateful

Remember that the person who is mentoring you is doing so out of a desire to help and nothing more. They are not being compensated. As a result, don’t forget to share your appreciation for their time and guidance. This can be done in any number of ways. Some choose to do share their appreciation face to face, others write thank you notes or letters, and some will sing their mentor’s praises to leadership or those that run a particular mentor program. However it is done, ensure your mentors know when something they said or did had a lasting impact on your career. This is their payment: knowing that their experience was able to help someone develop and find success.